Are you watching “The Apprentice”? It’s currently my favourite T. V. programme. As being a psychologist I find it fascinating to view how the personalities of the, would be apprentices come to the fore.
Its especially interesting to see how Sir Joe uses his business knowledge along with his gut instinct to choose his beginner. Much of the choosing involves removing would be candidates who he will not consider right for the job.
That reminds me of a technique called the “dating funnel” which I formulated as an efficient means of choosing a life partner. Its the dating funnel because it works on the particular principle of a funnel. The broad end at the top represents your potential partners.
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Don’t believe the scarcity misconception. There are lots of men out there who could be compatible with you as a life partner.
By dating you find out who you obtain along with, whose company you enjoy plus who has similar views to you concerning the lifestyle that he would like to live in the future. In other words you find out whose needs and attitudes best dovetail with your own. In looking for the man with who you will share your future you will satisfy men who may be a great partner for someone else but not you. You will simply say this honestly but tactfully allowing you both to continue the particular search for your ideal partner.
This particular stage is represented by the narrowing of the funnel. Eventually you reach the narrowest part of the funnel, which usually represents the point at which you find your one ideal man. In your search you will meet some types of men that are better avoided. This being so it’s important that you are able to recognise them.
These people fall roughly into six categories as explained below. The chaotic aggressive man. Violent men generally have a short fuse. Tend to have a high opinion of themselves. They may discover slights were none are intended. These people always have to be “right” even on the smallest of issues that most of us would not concern ourselves too much about. He may be fine in his behaviour towards you at this stage. However this won’t last. You can get a preview of how he is prone to behave towards you in the future by watching his dealings with taxi drivers, waiters etc . My friend we will call her Gail was dating a man for eighteen months with who she only ate out two times. Both occasions ended in your pet practically having fistfights with waiters, which only her intervention avoided. When their relationship ended I used to be not surprised to hear that this was due to him becoming violent toward her.
The addict The most important thing in an addict’s life is his addiction whether it is drink, drugs or gambling. Thoughts of the addiction are present at some amount of mind during every waking instant. This person’s life revolves close to and is dominated by his dependancy. He doesn’t have space in his existence for a relationship so for useful purposes he is unavailable. If a guy likes a drink or a bet obviously this does not necessarily mean that he is hooked. If however someone can’t ensure it is through a single day without a particular exercise or substance then addiction is likely.
The bottomless pit-This man has and seems to attract problems. This individual handles money badly, loses careers or quits after a few weeks, appears unable to settle and get on with life. He constantly needs your own help often in the form of small or large cash loans or your own negotiating skills to get him out of his current usually self ınduced set of problems. He is not inclined to take responsibility for himself plus generally finds someone or some thing outside himself to blame as the reason for his problems. You’ll soon feel more like his Mother than their lover if you get involved with this man. However much help you give he is going to need more. If you don’t recognise this particular man within your first couple of dates you should within your first few weeks together.
The particular chronically indecisive-This man has problems in making the smallest of decisions for example what clothes to wear, what to consume for lunch or which path to take to work. Being in a romantic relationship with a chronically indecisive man is really a problem for two reasons. Firstly, picture trying to make joint decisions with this man. Secondly, a man who has problems in making decisions generally will also be indecisive about his relationships.
The toenail biter-Nail biting is a normal rather than uncommon behaviour in children. In adults it can be simply a bad habit or even it can be a sign of inwardly directed aggression. The person who is directing his aggression inwards has a problem. This may not apply to all nail biters. However its something that you need to be aware of as passive/aggressive behaviour is hard to live with.
Men who already have a partner-I don’t mean by this particular someone who is separated and in the divorcing. I am referring here in order to men with current partners. Someone that already has a life partner can’t be looking for one or if he is he doing things in the wrong order. He or she needs to first end his current relationship if he can’t mend it, and then look for a new partner. Men in this situation often choose to socialise a long distance from their homes. This in itself is not evidence that he is attached. However if he or she also rarely contacts you, you meet only occasionally and have little if any means of contacting him he possibly is.
The above does not imply that all of us females are perfect. Or how the men mentioned in the above groups may not change particularly if they look for professional help. My aim here is to point out the significance of certain behaviours and exactly what they may tell us regarding the future of the relationship.